In Michigan, even a hangover has its upside. There’s always a little money for gas or a hamburger in the Hefty bag of detritus left over from your last beer binge. Michigan has a 10-cent refundable deposit on bottles and cans. You get a little richer with every six-pack of Miller Lite.

Refundable deposits—now there’s a recycling law that makes sense. Consumers get an incentive to do the right thing because their self-interest (getting the deposit back) is equated with ethical action (properly disposing of waste). Businesses win, too—even the smallest bodega will take your pop bottles back because they know you’ll probably turn around and spend the money right there. Voila. Everyone’s recycling friendly because everyone benefits.

When I left Michigan, I was surprised to ind that very few other states have such a recycling policy. Instead, there are bins marked Paper, Plastic, Aluminum and Glass. OK. Just tell me how much I need to put in there to get my dime and I’ll…What? I do all the work and have to pay someone else for the privilege of me sorting the trash? Just doesn’t make sense.

In fact, most consumer recycling programs don’t make sense. I have nothing against the environment. I live in Seattle because I like breathing clean air and eating fresh organic produce. But I can’t see the value in recycling.

The holy troika of consumer-centric environmentalism is “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” And they’re supposed to go in that order. I gag every time I see a plastic shopping bag in someone’s recycling bin. The bag shouldn’t be in the home in the first place (you can’t carry a couple groceries in your backpack?), but if it’s there, it should have a great second life as, say, a garbage bag.

Recycling plants are huge production facilities that only make money when they achieve a certain volume. They’re owned by capitalists. What’s more, recycling efficiency for paper is around 30 percent, for plastic, 20 percent. While that’s certainly better than nothing, recycling is ultimately inefficient. Factor in the energy required to collect, sort, process and remanufacture and recycling quickly becomes even more of a red herring. Middle America has bought into the pitch that recycling is The Answer. Sure, drive that Humvee to work everyday, but throw that tin can in recycling and Earth will be A-OK!

So, forgive my self-interest. That’s the Michigan in me. But don’t criticize me when I throw that piece of paper in the trash. I’ve used less paper today than you have in the first place, and I’ve got to do something to keep another group of fat-cats from making money off my labor.