Matski is just Catholic enough to know that it’s bad luck to plan for success. Planning for success means assuming success and assuming denies the mystery of the Lord, you see, and that just invites wrath. And the wrath of God, as we all know, is a really bad trip, like four more years of the Morlocks with their fingers on the button and their hands all up in our uteruses.

But the beer is talking (alcohol—the Catholic version of an escape clause), so maybe Matski’ll risk it. Not only is John Kerry going to win in November, John Kerry will be the first Gen-X president.

First let me say that—I KNOW—Kerry, born in 1943, is too old to even be properly considered a Boomer.

But follow me here. While Kerry predates most Xers by 30 years, it’s not impossible to see him as a blueprint for the type. A Brahmin who attended exceptionally good schools with the Best and Brightest and lived abroad while young, he’s clearly a member of the trend-setting elite.

Consider: Xers grew up in an age after their parents had thrown out their grandparents’ values, but before anything took their place. So while Boomers were idealists who saw liberation in rejection—and ultimately retreated to the comforts of the past when the present proved too challenging—Xers were born uncomfortably into a gray world of broken dreams and unrealistic expectations and were forced to deal.

So Kerry, like all Xers, reasons abstractly and holds nuanced views of complex situations. What’s more, he’s detached from his personal emotional reality. He fetishizes American middle-class culture. He snowboards. Gen-X hallmarks, all.

Compare this with Bush the Boomer: Earnest to a fault. Determined to hide his insecurities and bury his mistakes. Believes in an idealized, mythic American past of God-fearing nuclear families. Traditionalist in preferred forms of relaxation (golf and wood-chipping, anyone?).

We’re presented this November with a choice between archetypes, but they’re not the archetypes we’d expect. It’s not just Democrat versus Republican, or even Catholic versus Protestant. It’s the challenged present versus the defeated past. And Matski says the Morlocks will feel the wrath of the people this November.