There are those who will tell you up is down, the truth is a lie and right is wrong, and they’re probably right. But this much is true: When you’re working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, and it appears life is little more than a ceaseless climb up a rooftop salmon ladder in an overmarketed MC Escher drawing, it could always be worse—you could wake up a turtle. No, you may not drive a great big Cadillac, you may not drive a car at all, but be thankful for what you’ve got ’cause turtles only arrive first in fairytales. Your zeroes won’t add up to much on their own, so find yourself one to stack them behind. Know the difference between being a man and a boy toy. Remember, one man’s freedom fighter is another’s terrorist, and both should be spared the immensely overrated output of Primal Scream. Rejoice! These are your salad days, and though you may say tomayto while she says tomahto, it’s better than having to wonder one day if you truly long for her or just the way you were. In conclusion, always use the old sense of the words, on the last day of your life don’t forget to die, and the things that you do will always make your mama cry.

THE TRACKLIST
Momus MC Escher
The Vaselines You Think You’re A Man
The Lemonheads My Hero, Zero
Guided By Voices As We Go Up, We Go Down
Can Turtles Have Short Legs
Silver Jews Advice to the Graduate
Primal Scream Star
Future Bible Heroes Don’t You Want Me?
Yo La Tengo Be Thankful for What You’ve Got
Young Marble Giants Salad Days
Jonathan Richman Summer Feeling
Billie Holiday Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off