John Spencer spent 20 months in Oregon’s Sheridan medium security federal prison after being convicted of unarmed bank robbery in 1999. Born and raised in suburban Portland, Ore., by upper-middle-class parents, John (an assumed name) turned to crime after two years of college and several years of food service failed to live up to his ideal of an adventurous life. Handsome, well-mannered and intelligent, one would never assume upon meeting the man that he was a convicted felon, let alone a bank robber. He spoke with us from his home in southeast Portland about life, crime and the temptations of easy money.

R: How did you start robbing banks?
JS: At the time, I was trying to kick a heroin habit. I needed a bunch of money so that I could buy some pot and hole up for a while and get better. One of the junkies I was hanging around with used to talk about how you could rob a bank with nothing but a note, and I thought that was great because you wouldn’t need a weapon and nobody would get hurt. Then in November of that year an opportunity arose for me to have a car for about a week, and I went looking for the right bank. Then I just decided to do it.

R: So how exactly did you go about it?
JS: I was really nervous, but it was simple enough. I looked for a spot without a lot of police nearby, and I went in the morning right after they opened so that they would have the maximum amount of cash on hand. I hit the merchant teller, and she started freaking out when I passed her the note. I had to tell her to be calm and that everything was going to be OK before she started stacking the money on the counter.

R: What did your note actually say?
JS: It said: “I have a fucking hand grenade. This is a robbery. Do not alert the police. Do not press any buttons. Stack twenties, fifties and hundreds on the counter. No tracers and no ink packs.” I remember I used the word “fucking” on purpose, to indicate that I might be a little off.

R: Did she comply? Did she set off the alarm or anything?
JS: I really don’t know. She was still stacking money on the counter when I grabbed what I had and split. If the cops came, it wasn’t until after I was long gone.

R: How much did you get?
JS: I think it was like seven or eight thousand dollars. I should have stuck around longer because she still had a lot of money left in her drawers.

R: Where did you go when you got away?
JS: I stopped for gas, got a phone card and drove north to Canada. I drove all the way there with the windows down so that I could hear any sirens approaching, but none did.

R: Did any of your family or friends have any idea what you were doing?
JS: Oh no, they thought I went to Canada to party. And my friends up there never even asked where all the money came from. None of them had any idea.

R: Did you have any hesitations about going after another bank after your first experience?
JS: Well, because it was so easy, I didn’t think there was any reason not to try it again. The funny thing is that I didn’t need it at all. I came back from Canada and got a job and an apartment and was living like a normal guy.

R: Did you change your approach at all?
JS: No. It turned out very differently though. The second bank I hit had actually been robbed three times that week already, and the teller I got was just completely fed up. We ended up screaming at each other for a while before he started filling the bag I gave him, so I didn’t get as much as the first time. And after I got back to my apartment complex, I realized that some of the money had a tracer in it. By then, the cops were swarming all over the place so I threw the tracer into the Dumpster of a dentist’s office nearby and hid in my apartment. They never found me, but I didn’t get much for my trouble.

R: How did you end up getting caught?
JS: I used to go out drinking, and I often ended up telling stories to a bunch of different guys about robbing banks. At least two of these guys ended up trying to do it themselves, but they were stupid, and got caught. One of them named me. I was working at a local college by then, serving food and doing computer work and some writing, and the feds just walked up on me one day on my way to work. They didn’t treat me badly. They just walked up all of a sudden and said, “Freeze.”

R: Hindsight being 20/20, do you believe they would have caught you if you hadn’t told anyone about it?
JS: No. They didn’t even have a good photo of me. And their physical description was totally off. They would have never found me.

R: So, I guess the advisory message would be to keep your mouth shut?
JS: Yeah, that’s absolutely true. Also, in prison, the guys in there have ways of getting a hold of your record when you come in. Which means, if you’re a rat or a child molester or something, it is going to be a lot harder for you. There are sentencing guidelines for
bank robbery anyway. Regardless of whether you talk or not, you’re still going to do pretty much the same amount of time. So, even after you get caught, it’s still a good idea to keep your mouth shut.

R: What was prison like? Any horror stories?
JS: Not really. It was a medium-security prison because I never brandished a weapon. It really wasn’t that bad. There were only two inmates to a cell, and there were decorative gardens and shit. It was weird because everything is racially segregated, but if you kept to yourself and didn’t get involved in drugs or sex or gangs or anything, you could get through. I lifted a lot of weights.

R: How did the guards treat you?
JS: Some of them were tough. Some were chummy. It depended a lot on how their day was going. They were just normal guys for the most part. You learned to pay attention if someone was on edge, but for the most part they were OK.

R: What did you object to most?
JS: Prison labor contracts. You know, like blue jeans and cabinetry and shit made by inmates for next to nothing. It’s a real racket, and it blows me away that more people don’t see how fucked up it is.

R: What was the first thing you did when you got out?
JS: I had to spend some time at a halfway house, so I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted. When I was arrested I had a seriou girlfriend, so I guess the first thing I did when I got out was to get back with her. Eventually, I went to Thailand.

R: What are you doing now?
JS: I’m working as a chef at a new Malaysian restaurant. Living out with my mom, which good for both of us. I’m also planning another more or less permanent trip back to Thailand. I have a girlfriend there who is waiting for me.

R: Gonna hit a few banks to finance your trip?
JS: Definitely not.

R: Tell me the truth. Aren’t you ever tempted to return a life of crime?
JS: Of course I am, man. It’s so damn easy. And everybody needs money, we never have enough. All I would have to do is go get it. Sometimes I daydream about hitting a bunch of banks and investing the money and stuff like that, but I won’t do it.

R: Why not? What stops you?
JS: Because [wicked grin] stealing is wrong.