Aimless at 7AM
Posted by Ali MarcusI didn’t realize until about halfway through this morning’s walk that it was raining. Partly due to the years that I have lived in Seattle - the defiant, blissful ignorance of the weather - and partly due to the mishmash of absorbing thoughts running around my brain. I didn’t have a chance to weld them together. In the past, I’ve decided that this walk is over when the thoughts are coherent, but today it was just too wet. At a certain point, I decided that aimess wandering in the rain is overrated.
So on to the mishmash.
Stubbed out cigarettes on the sidewalk make me think of all my friends who smoke cigarretes and i wish they didn’t. And how unfair is it that people on the job can take smoke breaks whenever they like, and non-smokers get no excuse? Not to mention the smoke break conversations which often end up leaving the non-smokers feeling left out. High school politics triumph again.
I never know when to believe a friend who says that he or she is okay to drive home. The obvious times are when that person has had, say, four dinks, because that’s a fair amount of alcohol for anyone. The more difficult times are when a person has had less than it would take for me to be over the limit, because why should my own tolerance be a rule? For most people, it seems like their thoughts of safety arrive the morning after, and are of the I probably shouldn’t have driven last night variety. That’s not the right time to have those thoughts.
Still thinking about the dream i just woke up from. Isn’t it the strangest feeling in dreams how situations that are clearly not your reality are so completely accepted as reality within the dream? There’s an uncanny understanding going on, because while you’re dreaming, you know it’s not real, but everthing about it feels as if it is real. The ultimate game of Pretend. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we had that attitude in real life. Either we would all quite literally accomplish our dreams, or we’d all be wandering aimless in the rain.
So, smoking, drinking, dreaming. Take your pick.







